He lives in a cave at the top of a hill

Its real estate value is precisely Nil

In the run-up to Christmas he spends his days

Delivering gifts in various ways

His Van Check Sheet ticked as the Boss approaches

He hopes that the Boss won’t spot the cockroaches

His scanner just crashed and he hasn’t a clue

Whether IPAD or DOLL he’s delivering to you

You’d better be home when he comes to call

Or you will be carded and stuck to the wall

The Xmas Grinch would say that he’s happy

The girls in the office would say that he’s sappy

He thinks he looks cool with great fashion sense

In his bright yellow jacket the Boss bought for three cents

His work colleague Bob, sold him a hat

It’s pink with a bobble, enough said about that

At the end of the day as he walks through the door

He sits in his chair, rubbing feet that are sore

Remembering back to the day he just had

He knows that his life is not really that bad

He brings hope and cheer to people in need

Bringing their gifts swift as Tigger on speed

He always wears gloves for infection control

Forgets to remove them when he goes for a stroll

On Christmas Day when he’s drunk full of sherry

And stuffed up on chocolates and feeling quite merry

He might drunken text all his workmates at home

And tell them he loves them whilst feeling alone

So let’s raise a glass and drink a large toast

To all postal drivers up and down the coast

To all their hard work and their willingness to train

Cos next year they gotta do it all over again!