That was a Christmas they’d never forget…….

It started on Christmas eve with a phone call from an unknown number……

“We’ve got the old woman and if you want her back it’s gonna cost you ten grand”

Granddad put the phone down “I think someone kidnapped Grandma”. With that he went back to his chair and sat down, turning up the volume on the remote.

We looked at each other in shock.

“Granddad!” we both shouted at once. He sighed and turned the TV off.

“She probably got one of her Bingo buddies to call as a prank, retirement doesn’t agree with her” he went to turn the TV on again.

“What if it’s not a prank?” my brother asked.

“After an hour with your Grandma, even the most hardened criminal would send her back”.

“Should we call the Police?” I ventured and Granddad appeared to consider this.

“Don’t you have to leave it for 48hours before reporting a missing person?”

“But she’s not missing, someone has her tied up somewhere” the situation seemed unreal. Who would want to take a seventy four year old woman that lived in an ex-council house?

The phone rang again and Granddad reluctantly answered it

“Uh huh, Uh huh. Sorry I can’t do that” he put the phone down.


“They asked for money again and I said no” he sat back down and put the T V on.

We sat there in shock for what seemed like ages. I wanted to call the Police but was afraid it might get Grandma hurt.

Half an hour later the front door burst open and a dishevelled Grandma came into the room.

She sat down next to me and looked at Granddad.

“Ok, go ahead and say it” she challenged him.

“Nope” he said continuing to watch the TV. My brother and I looked at each other but held our tongues.

“Ok, so maybe selling pot to fund my varicose vein op was not the best idea” she sighed “although it was a hell of a lot better than knitting bloody booties to sell at the craft fair”

“What happened Grandma?” I asked.

“Well, it seems that a couple of the potheads I’ve been selling to thought I was making a lot more money than I was. They decided to try and blackmail your Granddad here. They assumed I was just some harmless, sweet old lady and didn’t bother to tie me up. Ha! I soon showed them. I kicked em in the balls and ran out while they were rolling on the floor”

“Any chance of a cuppa?” Granddad asked.

“Yes dear” Grandma went to the kitchen.

It was never spoken of again but that was a Christmas they’d never forget, when Grandma was kidnapped and we found out she had been selling pot.